Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
