at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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