Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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