dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
