Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
