worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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