Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
This is not my ceiling
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
