One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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