I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
