Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
