Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
