just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
