About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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