My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
