i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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