You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
