You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
