their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
