I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
