Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
