Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
is this the sara with the beer cane?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
