Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
