kristin has been a bad kristin
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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