Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
