I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
