She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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