he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
