Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you didnt know i had herpes?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
