My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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