Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
