As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize