My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
