Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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