I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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