big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
