Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i would punch a child for taco bell
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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