butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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