So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
