I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
