he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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