Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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