Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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