Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
