Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
