Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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