Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
