Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
