6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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