end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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