you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
