At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
