Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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