I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
