Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
