you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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