JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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