I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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