Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
