she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
