the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she told me i tasted like america
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize