Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
