I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
