you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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