I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
sex in a hospital.. check
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
