She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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