Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I think my moral compass just broke
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize