TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize