I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
